New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
40s are totally the cure
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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