she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
