you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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