please come you make the beer taste better
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
