hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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