Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
