peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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