THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
