if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
