Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
