not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
