i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
