Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Found your dick twin last night
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I need water and some morals
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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