After last night, I could never be a politician.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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