Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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