i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
