you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
