I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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