I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
