so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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