Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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