What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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