As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
