I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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