Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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