I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize