Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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