i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize