why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
