Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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