is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
