I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
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