we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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