She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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