So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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