we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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