Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he fucked my hip out of place.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
