It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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