You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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