I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
