Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize