are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
