Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
