I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
