I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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