Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
How external is "for external use only"?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
