why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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