There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
