I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
