I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
