I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
