he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
