Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This baby is an asshole
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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