what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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